he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize