I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
