I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
