Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
