I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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