What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
