I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
