it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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