My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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