Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
