Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
