So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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