Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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