at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
