He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize