So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
