So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
