therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
