I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
