South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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