please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You pole danced in your parka.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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