Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
