My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
