Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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