This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can I color on your dick again?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
