fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
