Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
