No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
