in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
