I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
