Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
