i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
