So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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