An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
