Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
