Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
