I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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