You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize