He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
is that a dick in a sweater?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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