Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
