quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
