I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
