...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
ttyl tear gas
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
