ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
