Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
