weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize