If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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