It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
