I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize