Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
