I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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