also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
