did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
