Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
