i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
