That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
