is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
